


Bucky Barnes X Reader - I Forgive Him

by writeyouin



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Reader-Insert, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-17 18:51:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14195451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writeyouin/pseuds/writeyouin
Summary: When Zemo is backed into a corner, he forces Bucky to become the winter soldier and attack his S/O, the reader.





	1. Attack

The small television screen crackled in front of you before coming to life with the old footage of a VHS tape; the tape echoed loudly through the ancient bunker while you waited for something to happen. You looked towards a smirking Zemo who was stood behind a thick, transparent wall watching you and Bucky with avid amusement.

The plan had been to catch Zemo in order to prove Bucky’s innocence, you were there to provide intel to Bucky whenever you could by using your impressive hacking skills and old S.H.I.E.L.D files; the real reason you were there however was to make sure Bucky was ok.

Originally you were helping Steve locate Bucky but when you found him you instead began helping him remain hidden, even from Steve. Over time spent together the two of you had become close and eventually a couple; When Steve found out that you had been hiding Bucky as well as dating him he was torn between anger, hurt, relief, and joy; ultimately he settled for joy and insisted that he was the only choice for a best man.

The tape screeched to life; one of the many offices of the old S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters came into view and the unmistakeable figure of Denise, your former partner, was hard at work at her computer station. An awful suffocating feeling fell over you as you steeled yourself for the worst, you had an idea of what was coming but you still couldn’t be prepared for it. A dark shadow fell over Denise and you were forced to watch as she failed to defend against a barrage of brutal attacks committed by none other than the Winter Soldier himself; you cringed inwardly, quelling the bitter tang of bile in your throat as you watched Bucky snap Denise’s neck with ease.

“What do you think of that?” Zemo goaded derisively, “Can you even call him a man after such a show? I don’t think I could.”

A glance towards Bucky revealed deep internal struggle, one part of him wanted to go over and comfort you, another part wanted to run away so that you’d never have to see the monster that killed your friend ever again.

“He’s not that guy anymore,” You responded defiantly; Bucky gaped at you, incredulous that you would still defend him.

“He still could be.”

“No, he couldn’t. You can’t turn me against him, it was assholes like you who made him do shit like that.”

“(Y/N), don’t,” Bucky whispered, “You don’t have to defend me”.

“No Bucky, he can’t get away with this. You need to forgive yourself for the past, me and Steve di, now it’s your turn. Zemo, you can’t barricade yourself in there forever.”

“Very well observed,” Zemo agreed condescendingly, “I have no doubt that you and your… pet will find a way in here eventually; I cannot allow that to happen, not until my work is complete so it would appear that you have presented me with a dilemma. I’d have rather seen my original plan successful but it seems that you have left me no choice.”

He turned his attention towards Bucky and began listing words in Russian:

“Zhelaniye.”

“Rzhavet.”

“Semnadtsat.”

“Arghhh,” Bucky wailed, crumbling to the floor, clawing at his head in a feeble attempt to free himself of the control.

“BUCKY!” You screamed, then turning your attention to Zemo, “STOP IT YOU BASTARD.”

Zemo merely grinned and continued:

“Rassvet.”

“Pech.”

“Devyat.”

“(Y/N), I’m sorry,” Bucky croaked. You made an attempt to cradle him but were forced away harshly, “No, don’t. You have to leave… now, run.”

“I won’t leave you, you have to fight this, for Steve, for me… for us.”

“Dobrokachestvennaya.”

“Vozvrashcheniye domoy.”

“Odin.”

Bucky knocked you to the ground and stood tall, a stoic shell; you looked in in horrific awe, the man who stood before you now was not Bucky anymore, it was the Winter Soldier.

Zemo paused for a moment, delighting in your grief; then it was over, with one quiet command the transformation was complete.

“Gruzovoy avtomobil.”

“Soldier, kill,” Zemo pointed to you on the ground.

Bucky rounded on you, in a slow, menacing approach; you crawled back, desperate to widen the gap between you, “Bucky fight it, you don’t have to do this,” you whimpered.

It was too late for pleas, and soon you were showered in a relentless barrage of hits and kicks, the likes of which you couldn’t defend against. Your cries grew weaker with each successful hit until you were unable to speak at all, fresh blood clouded your view and led you into an unfeeling darkness; there was nothing left to do but wait for the killing blow.

* * *

Darkness. And then out of nowhere a fuzzy voice, screaming your name repeatedly, “COME ON NOW, WAKE UP, I NEED YOU TO LISTEN TO ME AND WAKE UP.”

“ _Don’t wanna,_ ” your jumbled mind gargled, “ _Who is that… so familiar._ ”

“(Y/N) FOCUS ON MY VOICE AND WAKE UP.”

“ _Am I asleep? No, I don’t think so… what happened? Was I with someone… Bucky? BUCKY!_ ” The realisation hit like a tonne of bricks causing you to fight against the weight of your eyelids.

You blinked rapidly, forcing your eyes to focus; Tony held onto you tightly, pure fear etched into his usually calm features. “Tony?” You gargled.

“Yeah Champ it’s me,” he trembled quietly.

“I- I don’t feel good.”

“Shh, it’s ok, Friday is sending out an SOS and your vitals have been stabilised.”

“I’m tired Tony.”

“I know but you’ve got to stay awake now, for me ok.”

“Sir reports are back, analysis shows that (Y/N) is suffering several from broken bones and a severe concussion,” F.R.I.D.A.Y reported.

“What about rescue?”

“Agent Romonov is flying in now with medical assistance. E.T.A. – 2 minutes and 30 seconds.”

“You here that (Y/N), helps on the way, just stay with me till then.”

“Where’s Bucky?” You mumbled groggily.

“He’s gone, Caps chasing him now. I swear to you, once you’re safe I’ll find him and kill him.”

“No- wasn’t him, was Zemo.”

“Bucky’s dangerous-”

“So are you.”

“So what, you expect me to just find him and go on a road-trip to detain Zemo like nothing happened here,” he demanded incensed.

“I need you to find him, tell him-” your sentence was interrupted by a strong bout of coughing and the fresh blood that came with it; Tony wiped it away tenderly daring not to speak, “Tell him: I forgive him.”

With that you were once again plunged into darkness.

Darkness.


	2. Forgiven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the attack, the reader is arrested by Agent Ross for not giving up Bucky's location.

Shouting. It was an unpleasant sound to wake up to, it broke through the darkness in muffled waves, dragging you closer to a light with each thundered word. Unable to open your eyes you relied on your other senses to find where you were; you were on a bed, that much was clear, everything felt cold, and the smell of damp clung unpleasantly to your nostrils.

“GET (Y/N) OUT OF THERE NOW ROSS,” the voice definitely belonged to Tony.

“Mr Stark, you requested medical assistance, Miss Romanoff arrived with that but you seem to forget that both (Y/N) and Romanoff aided the criminal James Barnes,” there was a definite arrogance to the other mans’ voice.

The mention of Bucky made you fight against the weight on your eyelids; doing so revealed that you were in an advanced holding cell, “ _Everett Ross… That’s right. Agent Ross. Wanted to catch Bucky… thought I’d meet him under better circumstances… or not at all if I was lucky._ ”

“NO. THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE.”

“Are you suggesting that (s)he didn’t aid a terrorist?”

“Look at those injuries and think about this,” though he wasn’t shouting anymore Tony was far from calm, “He did that, do you think that damage came from nowhere? Can your small mind possibly comprehend that-”

“Tony,” you croaked.

“(Y/N),” relief flooded through his creased features, “How are you feeling, you need anything, quick, what’s 7 times 14.”

You attempted a laugh but it quickly turned into violent coughing, “Being beat up doesn’t make me good at maths,” you mumbled.

“Oh thank God,” he exhaled a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding, relieved that you were ok.

“Yeah, you’re still the smartest person in the room. Where am I?”

The other man took the opportunity to jump into the conversation, “(F/N) (L/N) I am agent Ross of-”

“I know who you are, intel’s my thing but then again, you know that, don’t you?” Trying to sound intimidating was difficult when your voice insisted on constant, painful mumbling.

“That tough attitude won’t help you out of my holding cell. What will help you is a trade, since intel is ‘your thing’ I would be willing to negotiate information on Mr Barnes’ location in return for your release.”

“That’s all I have to do?”

“That’s all you have to do.”

“Tony?”

“(Y/N), just give him what he wants and we can go back, together,” Tony requested sadly.

You took a deep breath, weighing up your options, “Okay… he’s at a bunker.”

“Which Bunker?” Ross leaned in.

“Bunker suck it.”

Ross gave you a loathsome grin, “I should have known you wouldn’t be that easy, but you’ll have a lot of time to think about it, in fact you’ll have nothing but time; I’ll see how you feel tomorrow, if you want to leave sooner just yell at the cameras, they’re all over this place.”

“Pervert.”

He began walking away, “Time to leave now Stark, I tried cooperation, it’s out of my hands now.”

“Can I just have one minute?” Stark pleaded.

“One minute. That’s all you have.”

The doors closed behind Ross, leaving Tony to bombard you with rapid speech, “(Y/N), I don’t want you in here right now but my hands are tied, you need to tell him where Barnes is now.”

“So you didn’t find him.”

“No, I tried but Cap is keeping him well hid, now  **please** , tell Ross where he is and come home.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes you can, all it takes-”

“No, really. I don’t know where he is, hell Tony, even if I did I wouldn’t tell but I don’t so it doesn’t matter.”

“So that’s it then. There’s nothing we can do?”

“You can fight to get me out.”

“Us,” a voice corrected.

“Wait a minute, was that Sam?”

“Yeah it’s me,” Sam replied.

“And me” another voice called.

“Wait, who is that?”

“It’s Ant-man,” he answered.

“Scott Lang? That Ant-Man.”

“Finally, someone knows me, intel really is your thing.”

“Anyone else I should know about?”

“Me, Barton, and Wanda,” Natasha volunteered.

“Christ Tony, what the hell happened while I was out?”

Tony sighed sullenly, “A civil war happened.”

“You betrayed us is what happened and now you’re betraying (Y/N) too, a great friend you are,” Scott hollered.

“I don’t even know you bug-boy, stay out of this please.”

“It’s Ant-Man,” Scott grumbled.

“Whatever, (Y/N), if you don’t know where they are then please, for my sake if not yours, use your skills to locate them.”

You had never wished to hug Tony more, to grab his hand, to do something that would show comfort; the barrier prevented that so instead you opted for what you hoped was a sincere smile, “You know I can’t do that Tony, it’s ok though, I know you’re just doing what you think is right. Go on, I’ll be fine here, don’t worry about any of this, I care about you too much to let a twat like Ross jeopardise our friendship.”

With one final, morose glance Tony did as you’d requested, walking away with stiff reluctance.

* * *

Lying patiently on the lumpy mattress, you counted the minutes, waiting for anything to happen; familiar footsteps announced the arrival of a friend, you smiled knowingly.

“Steve, I do believe you’re late,” you mocked happily.

“I didn’t know there was a time limit,” he laughed back.

“Where’s Bucky?”

“I’m going to take you too him but we’ve got to get everyone out of here first, ok?”

“I’m going to need a hand then, fairly sure I’ve got a few fractured ribs.”

“Yeah - I’ve got you.”

“Thanks buddy.”

It was honestly as simple as that; Steve had taken care of everything from transport to guard patrols. In your entire history working for S.H.I.E.L.D you didn’t think there had ever been a cleaner escape.

* * *

Seeing Bucky again brought a sweet sense of relief, you would have run over to him had it not been for the pain; as it was Steve was practically carrying you already. Bucky gawked at you, feeling guilty, distressed, pleased, and like the most fortunate man in the world, all at the same time.

He paced warily towards you, hugging you with a delicate force, one that seemed like if he held you any tighter or looser and you’d vanish completely; Steve left the two of you alone to talk through previous events.

Bucky drew a ragged breath, speaking with gruff uncertainty, “I thought you were- you could have been - I did that to-”

“Shh, no baby, no. Zemo did this to me, don’t blame yourself,” you comforted soothingly.

“I was the weapon he used, it was me that-”

“Don’t think of it like that, we knew the risks of chasing him,” you cupped his cheek, taking care to tuck a strand of hair behand his ear as you did so, “I sent Stark to give you a message but he couldn’t give you it, I guess that doesn’t matter anymore, I’m here now. Bucky, I forgive you.”

Unchecked tears washed over Bucky’s face, you wiped them away tenderly, he hauled you into his arms, daring not to let go for even a second; you ignored the burning pain that came with the action, content with just being in his arms for more than a few seconds.

“(Y/N), I… There’s something I have to do.”

“What is it baby, what’s wrong?”

“Me and Steve were talking about it… I was talking about it,” he exhaled a rueful sigh, “I don’t want to hurt anyone else-”

“And you won’t.”

“Please… let me finish,” you gave a reluctant nod, allowing him to continue, “I can’t be sure that I won’t hurt anyone till this thing – whatever it is – is wiped from my brain, that’s why I need… I need to go into stasis again.”

“What? Bucky that’s- that’s-” you wanted to scream that it was unfair or yell until he changed his mind but then you thought about it, you pondered how you would feel if you had been forced to attack Bucky, kill hundreds of innocent people, harm the ones you loved, all against your will; suddenly it seemed warped to argue against the decision. You swallowed thickly, looking questioningly into his eyes, “You’re sure this is what you want?”

Bucky stared at you disbelievingly, he had been prepared to reason with you, argue if necessary, but here you were, thinking about his needs above your own, “Yes,” his voice was a mere whisper.

“Okay then, but you should know that I’m going to be here, waiting for you to return; you don’t have to be alone anymore.”

He held the back of your head with his one arm, pulling you into a tentative kiss, the kiss grew bolder with each passing second, his tongue flicked over your teeth, requesting permission to enter, you happily obliged relishing in the smooth taste of him, his breath was warm and sweet, leaving you wanting more as his lips glided perfectly over yours; knowing that this kiss could be your last before Bucky left made it all the more delicious, you tried to commit everything in your memory, wishing that it didn’t have to end.

He beheld you breathlessly, taking in all your features for what felt like the first time again; before you had come back to him he had been afraid to go into stasis again, however just knowing that you would be there waiting for him, loving him, it put everything into perspective.

He caressed your cheek contently, “ _(S)he forgives me,_ ” the thought served as a mantra to keep him going throughout the process of stasis again.

“ _(S)he forgives me._ ” 


End file.
